The Happy Blogger

Thanksgiving

2011-12-17T00:23:00.003-05:00

Weeks ago in the US and a couple months ago in Canada, we celebrated Thanksgiving.

Imagine being an extraterrestrial(ET)...and looking at typical North American behavior at Thanksgiving. Most stores and workplaces are closed; the roads are typically quite empty. Every has typically gotten where they need to be a day or two prior to the holiday.

And within the homes, typically the women work their fingers to the bone, stuffing an enormous amount of food into the oven in hopes that everyone will overeat and feel stuffed themselves. The observant ET has to ask itself, "Why do these humans first stuff the birds and then stuff themselves?"

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks, to show appreciation...for the fall harvest...for the plenty in our lives. But to whom are we thankful? And, truly, for what are we thankful?

Thanksgiving, to me, is more than a day on the calendar...it is a way of living, a way of life.

That's why this post is relevant today, no matter what month or day your eyes spy these words.

Living with true thanks and gratitude in your heart will enrich your spiritual life, your relationships, and will strengthen your love of life, all thereby increasing your happiness.

The stress can get to all of us!

2011-12-05T00:52:00.002-05:00

The holiday season is upon us. And apparently even Santa can indulge a bit much!

Literally, "holiday" comes to us from old English meaning "holy" day. But, for many, there is little holiness associated with the hectic process of getting ready for Christmas.

After all, Christmas necessarily involves a number of stressors.

For instance, it means we have to shop. And what's worse, it means shopping pretty much at exactly the same time as everyone else.

Hands up, who loves crowds?

Even Mother Teresa would get frustrated at the situation in all the parking lots near you. Even Mother Teresa would jump on the last "Tickle me Elmo" doll to provide the child on her list with that pleasure.... Or would she?

What does Christmas mean for you?

Setting up a tree in your living room? Attempting to unilaterally support the economy by buying things beyond your budget? Spending time with relatives you don't really enjoy but do it anyways at least three times a year....

Or do you have a Christ figure in your Christmas?

Do you have a sense of all that Jesus did when He died on the cross for us? Or is Christmas just another day...an opportunity to simply look at it as a civic day off work?

Many drink or use drugs in life because they cannot control the addictions that have resulted from the stress of it all.

Is this you or someone you know? Get help. Go to www.skypotherapy.net. Thousands have. And anyone open has been helped!!

Good luck...Happy Holy days, and Happy Christmas to you all!

Richard A. Wietfeldt

2011-10-09T17:51:00.003-04:00

This picture of my dad was taken when I was just a little fellow, sometime in the early 1970s.

In 1986, he looked just as young and as fit as in this photo.

Yet October 9th, 1986 - 25 years ago today - marks his last breath on earth. Dad died of a massive heart attack at his desk in his home office.

My family and I were devastated.

A man who never smoked, never drank...a man who was a lean 6'3", 180 pounds...a PhD scholar in medieval philosophy, a teacher, an economist, a prolific researcher and writer, a government lobbyist, a neighbor, a husband, a son, a brother, a dad...and he was suddenly gone.

Just a week prior to his death, my dad did for me something he never had done before: he did my homework for me!

I had just started university and was taking primarily sciences. But my breadth class was in creative writing. (Go figure.)

In my second week of classes I developed a pretty serious pneumonia; I was on antibiotics and my back for the better part of 10 days. As a result, my dad took pity on my situation. I had a writing assignment due on the Monday in question -- my first day of being vertical again.

Dad didn't just give me some pointers or start a draft on it...no, he wrote the entire piece on his huge Compaq laptop. He printed it for me and had it ready Monday morning.

I didn't even read the paper...I literally just handed it in without even glancing at it. This was Monday.

On Thursday, I returned home around 5pm to be told by my eldest brother that Dad had died. I remember clearly the shock of it all. "I guess we won't be having dinner together," I mumbled.

You see, Dad and I had a particularly close relationship. He wasn't just my dad...he was my everything! He was my Hero.

Every evening, for many years, he and I would sit after dinner talking -- talking about anything. Life. School. Politics. Religion. He had studied at Purdue, Yale, the University of Toronto...and had so much to say, so much to give. Like a parched sponge, I had so much to soak up!

My peers in school quietly ridiculed me for living what they called a "deprived" life. I didn't attend school dances, I didn't have a skateboard, I didn't have a girlfriend... etc, etc. I didn't have or do what they thought everyone would want to have the good life.

But they didn't know what I had.

Losing Dad was the hardest thing at that age. And for over four years I went to bed, each night, sobbing.

I wasn't crying for him. My faith instructed that God would honor His faithful servant with a special place in heaven. I was crying for me. I had a gaping hole in my heart. It was pain unlike anything I had ever experienced.

But let's get back to that creative writing assignment. Two weeks after his death I got the paper back. The paper had, in red ink, a big "A" on it.

No surprise there. Dad had written and given speeches to Presidents and Prime Ministers.

What was a surprise was the title dad had chosen for the paper he wrote for me: "For Everything There Is A Season And A Time."

Those words have comforted and guided me throughout the past 25 years. And often.

For within six years I was again pallbearer , this time for my mother, who died of cancer.

And then, by age 33, I had buried three sons, Richard, Lucas, and Josef, as well as a baby princess, Mary.

For all children reading this: remember and honor your father and mother. For all parents, keep your children close to your heart. And always remember: For everything there is a season and a time.

What is this? A pipe or a canon?

2011-07-02T13:21:00.003-04:00

I've always been attracted to the second hand (second lung?) smell of a pipe.

Ever since I was shorter than I am now, I have loved the scent of someone smoking a pipe. Now, I have never actually smoked, let alone smoked a pipe.

Sigmund Freud spoke about the "oral phase" of development. Clearly he enjoyed his oral phase -- even though he had had more than 30 surgeries for mouth/throat cancer, Freud was a long-time lover of cigars. Whatever you think about Freud -- and to be straightforward, he's had his share of bombs -- the whole infant sexuality thing, the phase of using Cocaine -- but he is widely regarded as a highly influential voice of the 20th century for his work on understanding the human unconscious and for highlighting the benefits of talk therapy.

But when I came across this photo I was reminded of this simple truth: A pipe gives a wise man time to think ... and a fool something to suck on.

That said and with Freud (consciously) in mind, here's to being able to think and reflect without having to bite on a cancer cannon.

Is this where I need to be?

2011-06-09T18:45:00.002-04:00

Life has an awkward way of telling us that we are not where we should be.

Sometimes the message comes loudly and dramatically -- like when the pink slip comes.

Other times the message is far more subtle. Perhaps we notice sweaty palms or a dry mouth.

Not feeling comfortable in our own skill is a very valuable bit of information. But what we DO with and about that information is what separates winners from non-winners.

What do I mean?

Think of it this way. You know that feeling when wearing a short sleeved shirt and the sun goes down and the breeze picks up? Goosebumps, right? Shivering...maybe even chattering of teeth if it is REALLY cold enough?

Okay, so what do we do when we feel cold? Usually, if there is something we can do about it, we make a change: we either put on a sweater or coat...or perhaps we turn up the heat...we come inside from being out in the cold...Maybe we jump up and down to get warm blood to our extremities...or maybe we snuggle with someone to create some body heat...or maybe we rely on some other type of intervention.

Bottom line, we tend to DO something.

Having been cold, we then use our experience to prevent the problem from re-occurring: we take a sweater with us next time we're in those circumstances again -- bottom line, we learn from the past and use that information in a protective way for the future.

Now...drum roll please....

What if I was to suggest that emotions are just another form of information? What if fear or sadness could be seen in the same light as goosebumps from a cold temperature?

Think about it. When we come in from the cold, do we typically get really upset and take it to heart? Or do we just do what we need to do to warm up?

Do we presume that God is out to get us because we got cold? Do we presume that people don't like us or that something horrible is going to happen to us?

No. We just do what we need to do.

Now, apply this to your life....

When you next feel worried or upset or sad, ask yourself: "What do I need to do to feel better?"

Then, so long as your answer is not self destructive and not against the law, do what you need to do.

Then let me know how this works for you...either in the comments below or on twitter @CoreOfHappiness.

Good luck!

Vancouver Fan Pictured in Beantown

2011-06-08T23:33:00.002-04:00

AP News (Boston): June 8, 2011

This photo of a young Vancouverite in Boston for Game 4 of the NHL Finals says it all.

Boston pacified Vancouver in the TD Garden by a solid 4-0, leaving Vancouver fans speechless, if not drooling.

The search for Stanley's Cup returns to the West Coast on Friday at 8pm Eastern as the Bruins evened the series at two games a piece.

The HOW of Happiness!

2011-06-07T20:58:00.004-04:00

"Keep your eyes on the prize!"

How many times have we all heard that one?

One of the inherent problems with this phrase is that it tends to get people focused on the WHAT of happiness, the STUFF of happiness.

People think about how to get the stuff that makes them feel good and somehow believe that doing so gives them the happiness they are seeking.

Of course, as the wonderful phrase goes, "anyone who thinks having a lot of money can buy happiness clearly has never had a lot of money."

This highlights a rather serious, if not academic, point. Happiness is of two types-- the "what" type and the "how" type.

In "The Core of Happiness," I've suggested that the STUFF of life provides for roughly 10% of our overall happiness.

This fits with the notion, repeated in survey after survey, that the richest are not necessarily the happiest.

So what's this about the "How" of happiness?

Through what lens do you look at life? Are you optimistic?

My eye doctor -- now she's an optimist!

(Sorry, I couldn't resist that one.)

Do you look for the good in others, in situations...as well as in yourself?

Are you able to enjoy detours?

If your answer to any of the above is less than a full "thumbs up," consider practicing more of living in the moment.

Living in the moment is the art of opening and savouring the greatest gift of all time: the present.

We'll continue to discuss this...but, for now, don't hesitate to post your thoughts below. Share with us your greatest detours -- either on a road journey or on the path of life... And feel free to contact me directly @CoreOfHappiness on Twitter.

Big Bad Bruins are BACK!

2011-06-06T23:54:00.003-04:00

I'm going to date myself here with this, but when I was a kid, I loved everything about Bobby Orr and the Boston Bruins. The Celtics and Red Sox weren't bad either, but as a Canuck growing up in downtown Toronto, hockey ruled.

Today's the first day in probably over two decades that I watched quite a bit of a Bruins hockey game....

I missed the first period because of a meeting...and I missed part of the third because of a jog...but oh! wow! what a second period!!

The Bruins, having lost the first two games in close battles, cracked this series wide open with today's 8-1 slaughter of Vancouver.

The Bruins of today are different in respect to level of finesse...but they have the same big hearts I remember them having in the early '70s.....

Heart....one can't live happily without it.

Here's to heart...and here's to the Bruins!

Creating Happiness!

2011-06-05T19:45:00.002-04:00

Happiness is not just a destination, it's also the path we take to get there.

Many people mistakenly look at the "pursuit of happiness" as the chase for faster computers, faster cars, bigger homes, more vacations, and so on.

And, as you've heard me say before, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with a fast computer or a fast car or, for that matter, a laser-driven barbeque that grills chicken in six seconds flat.

But there is something wrong when our desires for those "things" of happiness interfere with or supercede the TRULY important things in life.

What are the TRULY important things in life? I suppose we could debate that for quite a while...but let me suggest - instead of getting to specifics - that the truly important things of life are those things that don't require lots of money, a prestigious job, or even good health, for that matter. (Though that last one may surprise you!)

Do you know what I'm getting at here?

Post your ideas below...or send them to me via Twitter:

@CoreOfHappiness.

Happy 2011!

2011-01-01T00:05:00.000-05:00

Like a sunset, 2010 has graciously faded away....

What will 2011 bring?

Will there be good health, happiness and prosperity?

Or will there be wars, natural disasters, economic strife, and ongoing personal problems?

A new year tends to make people more sentimental than usual with respect to the change of calendar: January 1st brings a new day, a new month and a new year.... it signifies a lot to a lot of people.

Let's work together to make 2011 a happy year!

What things are you most looking forward to this year?

What things are you wanting to do to make this year better than any year before it?

Write your responses below or send them directly to me via Twitter: @CoreOfHappiness.

Steve Diamond Live!

2010-10-11T02:24:00.002-04:00

Visit StopStressingNow.com, click on Podcasts, and look for interview 39 with yours truly......

Then sit back and enjoy....

I love interacting with the media but never more than when its a class act like Steven Diamond!

I enjoyed every minute of the interview because, quite simply, he gets it.

Listen in and see just what I mean!

Money and Happiness

2010-09-30T21:27:00.000-04:00

When I speak to audiences about happiness, I always qualify in my own mind, even before pursing my lips to speak, what type of happiness I am wishing to address.

For there are indeed different types of “happiness.”

There is, for instance, the simple type of happiness that comes on opening a long-awaited birthday gift – perhaps a beloved Apple i-product.

Is having a happy life simply the product of creating as many “birthday” moments as possible? Would life be better if every day was our birthday?

What about a different perspective. There is another type of happiness that comes from getting word of a promotion or raise. Happiness here is tied closely together with pride and satisfaction for a job well done.

Indeed, human emotions are often “blended” in this way.

Then there’s the happiness of seeing our child walk her first steps. Or the happiness that comes from hearing our son perform a solo in the Christmas concert at school.

But is happiness simply an emotion -- a feeling? Or is it an attitude? Or exactly what is it?

Personally I think one of the reasons there is so much stress and unhappiness in the world is NOT because we don’t have enough stuff or money – clearly, we have more STUFF today than those before us ever have had in history. Rather I think it is because we have been taught that the more we have, the newer we have, the bigger we have…the better it is.

Our society is so funny in its contradictions. First we hear, “size matters.” Then we hear, “It’s not the quantity but the quality.”

Perhaps the real answer is that there is no perfect, easy answer. It would be great if oranges were all sweet and juicy and came the size of pumpkins. And it goes without saying that they shouldn’t have seeds. But that’s not reality.

But what do oranges have to do with the price of eggs?

Nothing.

So let’s get back to money and happiness.

What we do know from repeated research studies over many years now is that increasing someone’s income above a certain level does not statistically give them any more happiness. It may give them more stuff. Bigger stuff. Faster stuff. And there is nothing in and of itself wrong with those things. Those are what Aristotle would call goods. But there are lots of “goods” in the world and in life. Self respect. Honesty. Close relationships. The satisfaction that comes with accomplishment. The joy that comes from giving.

The flipside of money and happiness has certainly also been shown repeatedly: if someone doesn’t have enough money to feed, clothe, and shelter herself then she is going to have a hard time being happy – for there’s just too much stress in a life of poverty.

So here’s the thing about defining happiness: since we know from studies that a lot of people worldwide are relatively happy with relatively little and, conversely, we know that a lot of people with a lot of money are not very happy, it seems to make sense that we can drop money as being part of our preconceived factors that go into our definition of personal happiness. Having things is indeed good. But, again, there are many goods.

So what is inherent to the process of living happily?

Did you hear the question? What is inherent to the process of living happily? If you believe this question is valid, it points us in an important direction. Having a happy life isn’t all about filling life with presents and surprises and excitement. Yet we have become confused to think these are the things we need to pursue. Remember? We are supposed to pursue happiness – which is to say it is necessarily external to ourselves.

I’d instead like to suggest that the “stuff” of our life, while important and “good,” perhaps accounts for only about 10% of our overall happiness. The vast majority of our happiness, probably 90% or so, comes from how we live. Sadly, many people don’t think they have a choice. But we all have a choice to live happily.

It’s easy to be happy when we’re on vacation, the sun is shining, and we’re surrounded by things we love.

But those moments are relatively rare. And that probably makes them somewhat special, doesn’t it?

Consider going to your favorite restaurant and ordering your most favorite meal. You’ve had a long day and now it’s your time to sit back and enjoy. The food melts in your mouth and you enjoy every bite. You savor every aroma…you taste every nuance. But what happens to your emotions when your most favorite dessert is finished and your server brings you your ENTIRE meal again – starting with the entrée. This second time around it doesn’t taste quite as good…the hunger, literally and metaphorically, is gone.

The same is true of the stuff-of-life type of happiness. It’s great for a while but then we need a break. We need to get hungry again.

But few seem to have learned this lesson. And little wonder: we are inundated with messages from marketers telling us that every once of our happiness comes from acquiring their product or service. Like Cadillac saying, “Let us know when your neighbors are home so we can deliver your new Escalade.” Or what about the make up makers L’Oreal: “Because you’re worth it.” So, let me get this straight, if I don’t pay $2 more for L’Oreal’s hand cream I must not be worth it?

Yes, the messages are pretty direct, aren’t they? And they are everywhere.

It’s called ST – Shopping Therapy. We go to the mall to buy something because we’ve been working so hard and are in need of a lift. Then we feel great for a little while because we have something new. But then the same old feelings come back and then we get the VISA bill and decide we should get another job to pay for our bills. But now it’s time to get back to the mall for some more ST. After all, the sign says that the more we spend the more we will save! And saving is good, right?

Here’s yet another quick story. Several years ago, a group of university students were asked to participate in an experiment. They were offered the opportunity of getting attached to a machine that gave them the sensation of orgasm. That’s right, the BIG O. Orgasm. The only caveat? They would necessarily be attached to the machine for a long, long time – continuously.

Imagine that: one big, long orgasm.

(Something Aristotle would probably have called a “great.”)

And because of the caveat you could probably guess that nobody signed up for that experiment. Truly, nobody did.

So let’s recap. Is it possible that so many people are so unhappy because they are searching down the wrong path, namely to have more things in their world? Is it possible they have bought into the idea that more is better but then quickly fall prey to the reality of hedonistic accommodation – the process by which we humans get used to fun things?

Is it possible that we should instead be focusing on learning how to be happy? How do we foster a happy attitude? How can we take a lemon and make lemonade? How can we learn to enjoy the scenery on a detour?

Fostering any kind of attitude change takes practice…But it all begins by intellectually acknowledging the path you truly want to take. And that takes perspective.

That said, you’ve heard mine. And now I’m looking forward to hearing your perspective on this issue.

Infatuation, Preoccupation, or Addiction?

2010-09-06T16:58:00.003-04:00

Have you noticed how many (if not most) people are incredibly focused on money? Attaining it, spending it, hoarding it?

Here's a funny little conversation which helps illustrate just what I mean. Food for thought.

Man: God?
God: Yes?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Of course!
Man: What's a million years to you?
God: A second.
Man: And a million dollars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, can I have a penny?

God: Yes, just wait a second.

(author Unknown)

Smiling and Laughing and Being Happy

2010-08-06T17:15:00.000-04:00

Think about it. It is pretty hard not to be feeling pretty happy when you're laughing, right?

In fact, I'd say there are only rare occasions in which a person can be smiling or laughing and not actually be happy. For instance, we may end up feeling amused when someone flips onto their back having stepped on a banana peel...but we're not truly happy. We may smile when we find out that a backstabbing former 'friend' got fired from his job...but again, we're not truly happy. We may repeat mantras like, "what goes around, comes around," and similar types of phrases...but that is not happiness.

But outside of these types of examples, behaviours like smiling and laughing all are known not only to be a product of happiness - a side-effect of sorts - but they also induce happiness!

We smile when we are happy and we can make ourselves happy by smiling and laughing! It works both ways!

Smile and laugh as often as you can; you will find your attitude will be more light-hearted!

DOWNLOAD -- a song of electronic inspiration

2010-05-31T00:21:00.001-04:00

From the author of "The Core of Happiness" comes a revised classic...

DOWNLOAD

When you're alone and chat is making you lonely
You can always go
Download

When you've got worries, all the pics and the story
Seem to help, I know
Download

Just listen to the music of your hard drive spinning silly,
Linger in the App store where the neon signs are pretty
How can you snooze? The pixels are much brighter there...
You can forget all your friend requests, ignore all your tweets and go
Download -- things will be great when you
Download -- you'll find disc space for sure
Download -- the App Store is waiting for you

Download... Download.....

Don't wait behind, and let the Jones' surpass you,
There's an App for you
Download

Maybe you know some little windows to go to
Where they never close
Download

Just listen to the rhythm of a gentle Gigga Bite-ah
You'll be dancing with 'em too before the night is over,
Happy again...
The pixels are much brighter there,
You can forget all your friend requests, ignore all the tweets, and go
DOWNLOAD-- things will be great when you
DOWNLOAD--you'll find disc space for sure
DOWNLOAD--we've got a new app for you now....

Download....Download....Download....

And you may find a kind Mac Genius to help and understand you;
Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle mouse click to
Guide them along...
So maybe I'll Skype you there,
We can forget all our friend requests; ignore all the tweets and go
Download -- things will be great when you
Download -- don't wait a minute more
Download -- every app's waiting for you...

Download...Download...
Download...Download...
Download...Download...
Download...Download...
Download...Download... (fade)

Copyleft (c) 2010 Rudy "Petula C" Wietfeldt
Visit www.TheCoreOfHappiness.Info for more info!

Letting go of the "inner judge"

2010-05-20T20:30:00.003-04:00

First there was Judge Wapner, then Judge Judy, then Judge Joe Brown...and maybe there are even others now on television leading the way to high ratings via moralistic rulings.

And don't get me wrong, there is unquestionably a role for the whole "don't-take-the-law-into- your-own-hands...you-take 'em-to-court mentality.

The problem, as I see it, is the inner micro judge judy that sits inside our minds being so highly critical of everything that goes on...what good does all that negativity really do?

Negativity without purpose is useless energy.

And so, whether we find ourselves judging others or just ourselves, let's let go of the black cape and gavel and instead embrace a caring, positive, supportive stance.

Make sense? Your thoughts are appreciated.

Contemplating contemplation

2010-04-28T17:48:00.003-04:00

Sometimes it is good to talk, other times it is just good to sit and think.

How much time do you actually have, yourself, to just sit down and think about something for a while without an interruption?

If there isn't a tug from a little person, there may be the voice of a spouse or other relative in person. Then, of course, there are the incessant interruptions from sirens, horns honking, dogs barking, phones, cell phones, fax machines, pagers, IMs, text messages, Skype calls...and so on.

When's the last time you had just fifteen consecutive minutes to be alone with your thoughts? My bet is that your answer is something like "a long time ago" if not "never."

And is that not scary? We're supposed to meet up with our dentist every six months and with our physician every year for an annual health exam -- the so-called "physical." But who talks about having a mental health exam. (And as Canada is the country with a one dollar coin known as the "looney," let's not even ponder what the nickname for the mental health exam might be called.)

Consider taking some time and just "being" for a change. Let your mind breathe without rushing somewhere. You will probably be amazed by three things: first off, wow! That felt good; secondly, you'll want to schedule more of these 15 minute breaks; and thirdly, you'll be shocked to find that you are actually more productive when you do give your mind a chance to turn inwards and reflect quietly on the day-to-day happenings inside....

Need a laugh?

2010-03-09T18:20:00.002-05:00

Type "try not to laugh" in the YouTube search box.

Sit back.

Fasten your seatbelt.

And try not to laugh!

A formula for Happiness?

2010-03-09T18:02:00.002-05:00

Reuters

March 9, 2010

The Red Sea

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Archeologists and anthropologists at the University of Duh announced today a new tablet was found in the Red Sea.

Amid speculation that the announcement was part of a media blitz by Apple, Inc. in advance of the release of the new iPad, members of the worldwide media group were stunned to find physical evidence of a 3'x3' block of stone, carbon dated back to the time of Moses.

Professor I.P. Knightly and study co-author Professor Rusty Bedsprings held up the tablet which read in English translation:

Happiness=Expectations/Results

Whether from the time of the burning bush or from the smoking weed, scientists agree that our happiness can be understood in terms of our expectations divided by the results we obtain.

"Imagine how you'd feel if you got 90% on a test but only expected to get 50%," Professor Knightly explained. "You'd be thrilled!"

"But, on the other hand," Professor Bedsprings interjected, "if you expected to get 90% but got only 50%, then you'd likely be significantly upset."

But what does all this mean?

According to upstate new york sociology professor, 'Whip' T. Doo, "it means we must take advantage of every situation. We have to hope for, work towards and expect the best ... but we also need to be prepared to accept less than the best some of the time.

"After all," Professor Doo continued, "we have to wrap our minds around the fact that some days we're the pigeon and other days we're the statue."

Laughter!

2010-03-08T00:57:00.001-05:00

Laughter has long been said to be the best medicine.

Click on any of the above videos to check out the best surgery!

You won't be disappointed!

The PHYSICAL realm

2010-02-02T23:00:00.003-05:00

Roughly one third of the world or more is dying WITHOUT clean water....

Roughly one third of the world or more is dying WITHOUT any bread....

And roughly one third of the world is dying FROM EATING TOO MUCH!

My guess is, since you have the technology to read this, you are probably living somewhere where overindulgence is the rule.

Our bodies are our corporal vessels which house the mind and soul. To look after our vessel is to look after the physical realm of life.

The key features of good maintenance: Rest, Diet, and Exercise.

Rest: Everyone has different needs but typically eight hours or so of continuous sleep per 24 hour day is a good place to start. Some need more. Others need less. Start with eight and go from there. Try keeping a diary of your sleep, energy, and mood levels. Doing this will help you find the proper amount of rest that you need in order to feel your best and function your best. And be aware that added stress can change your body's rest requirements...so check in with yourself to see how you're doing, particularly during a crisis.

Diet: The food we eat is the fuel for the body's engine. Just like your car, you need to add unleaded fuel. Put in crap and your engine will seize.

Crap in, crap out. It's that simple.

Spend what you can to buy the best food you can -- there are few things more important in life!

Exercise: We live in a very overweight continent. We don't typically move enough. Why? Because we are too tired. Our energy management is off.

So what do we tend to do instead? Well since there is that 159 inch idiot thin screen box in front of our lazyboy...I guess we should turn it on. After all we have to have something to look at while we drink beer and eat that 26 pound bag of polysaturated butter grease.

Reality shoes are so intense! Time for another beer.

STOP THE INSANITY.

So you weigh too much. Remember. Your stomach is a sac. If it is used to being filled beyond normal capacity, it has stretched. And the more the stomach stretches, the more food has to be devoured in order to feel satisfied. The more calories consumed, the more weight we put on, typically.

The key is to gradually make changes. Slowly, meal by meal, eat less. Purposefully take conscious control of your eating. Do NOT eat in front of the idiot box. Similarly, do not get sucked in by the idiot box. Slowly make plans to exercise. Plan to walk around the block with a friend. Then follow through with your plan! Execute it! Be persistent...and it WILL pay off. Guaranteed!

For weight is a rather simple thing: some combination of eating fewer calories and exercising more will undoubtedly lead to a more healthy weight and more toned body.

The time is NOW.

NOW!

(Which letter didn't you get?)

The three realms of life

2009-11-03T07:05:00.002-05:00

People writing about health and happiness often speak of "balance." But what exactly is it that we are trying to balance?

Typically, we readers typically are told about balancing our diet or balancing our budget. Let's take a step back from these specifics for a moment and look at the bigger picture.

A life lived well occurs when there is balance in and between each of these three realms: the physical, the emotional and the spiritual.

Over the next few days we are going to discuss each of these (as well as the interrelationship of these) realms of life. We'll start with the PHYSICAL realm -- in part because this is the area in which we can most easily relate. This is the tangible realm.

As an aside, I think part of our problem these days is that life is SO busy that most people have a hard enough time trying to balance just the day-to-day things in the physical world. Then, when and if there is energy, time, or conscious thinking of it, we may delve into one of the other realms.

Is that not accurate? When's the last time you asked someone about the topic and they said, "Oh, no! I'm not busy at all!" It just doesn't happen!

So another thing we'll need to talk about soon is PRIORITY SETTING and more about TIME MANAGEMENT.

In the meantime, have a happy moment right now...

NOW ON TWITTER

2009-11-02T07:32:00.001-05:00

Follow me for "Happiness Tweetorials" @CoreOfHappiness

What are blogs?

2009-11-01T10:25:00.004-05:00

Blogs are different things for different people.

For me, this Happy Blogger blogspot is a place to express some of the tidbits that I hope will stretch someone else's mind as well as give me the opportunity to reflect and stretch my own.

As of the last decade, the plasticity of the human brain has become well documented. Unfortunately the stubbornness of the human spirit is doubly well documented -- over millennia.

Human attitudes - and therefore human behaviour - are what they are. The reductionist argument can be brought in to bring everything down to sodium and potassium channels between cells. But the fact remains: if we want to change something about our selves or about the world in which we live, we have to start WITH OURSELVES.

The general rule of thumb in fixing a psychotherapeutic problem is: the longer the problem has been in place, the longer it is going to take to make changes. (And if you like the wiring description of the brain as illustrated in the documentary "What the Bleep do we know," then it is the neuronal contacts that have to be changed -- and this takes repetition over time. Remember: neurons that fire together, wire together.)

This is true on a societal level, too. Unfortunately, greed and selfishness rule the better part of many peoples' lives. How many times have we heard the saying, "I've got my rights!"

Talk about PLATITUDES!

Collectively and individually, what are our responsibilities?

Guns don't kill people. Bullets kill people.

2009-10-31T19:51:00.004-04:00

That's just the truth. It isn't the GUN that kills people, it's the flippin' BULLET! So I would suggest letting everyone who wants to carry a gun, carry a gun.

In fact, maybe WalMart can go ahead and start stocking bazookas. And as long as nobody can buy bazooka bullets anywhere then everyone is safe.

Many of my American compadres are shaking their heads in disbelief about this position. Cuz the truth is, many Americans feel strongly about their right to bear arms.

Truth be known, this is the one, singularly defining difference between Americans and Canadians: Americans want to carry a gun and Canadians want to carry a hockey stick.

Truth is, since the advent of grocery stores like Kroger or Loblaws, we don't need weapons to feed ourselves.

Let's smile, laugh and giggle more. It's time to evolve past the knuckle-walking stage and learn to be happy.

So what is stress, anyways?

2009-10-27T23:02:00.000-04:00

Stress is a bit like a weed.

What have I been smokin', you ask? Stress is like a weed?

Before you send me off to the rehab center, allow me to explain. Weeds, when you get down to it, are plants that are growing where they don't belong. So a corn plant in the middle of a bean field is a weed. (But a corn plant in a corn field is obviously not a problem.)

So it can be with stress - especially with the so-called 'good' stress. Consider a promotion or getting married. These are typically considered 'happy' events yet they are often stressful. Any situation or precipitant that weighs on the body, the mind or the spirit is a form of stress.

Even seemingly small stressors over time can cause big problems. Think of the small leak in the roof. No big deal at first. But then the little leak grows and suddenly there is a big problem as more and more ceiling damage is uncovered.

Or consider the person who is asked to hold an apple in his palm with the arm maximally extended outward. No big deal, right? NO? Try it! Sure the first few seconds is fine. Maybe even the first few minutes. But after thirty minutes or so, you'd need to call an ambulance for that unlucky guy! The moral of the story is: even small stressors can give you a lot of trouble if you have to carry them over a long period of time.

Be careful with stress. It is a problem that hides itself silently in the form of hypertension and other 'silent' killers.

Define your stress really well. What things make you upset? What things make you angry? What things make you sad? frustrated? What things make you feel powerless or helpless? Knowing what stresses you is the first step in doing something about it!

Good luck! If you need any help, please email me via rudy@happysolutions.net

Winning the battle against STRESS

2009-10-26T18:22:00.002-04:00

While taking a nice, relaxing, warm bath generally helps people feel better, the reality is that by the time we get patted dry, much of the stress can feel like it is right back on our shoulders.

So what are we to do?

This was exactly the question emailed to me today via THE CORE OF HAPPINESS fan page on Facebook. (Have a question? Don't hesitate to email me at: rudy@happysolutions.net.)

Stress is everywhere. Tomorrow we'll go into more details about exactly what stress is. Briefly, there are LOTS of types of stress. There's good stress and bad stress. There's financial stress, work stress, peer pressure, marital strain, parental and familial stress...truly, the list goes on and on....There's stress from getting a promotion, from getting married, having children....

Start by taking a piece of paper and literally writing out - in point form - every individual thing that causes you stress. In over 20 years of doing this exercise with people I can tell you that responses have ranged between 10 lines and nine double-sided pages!

From this list, divide each and every point into one of two categories: 1) Things UNDER my control and 2) things NOT UNDER my control.

This is an INCREDIBLY important step! If something is UNDER your control... drumroll please ... then you can control it! Woohoo! YES! You can DO something about it!

And if something is NOT UNDER your control then you can't do a darned thing about it -- so practice putting it out of your mind! (If it is out of your control, then you have to learn to cope with it. We'll deal with COPING SKILLS later this week.)

Beside each point UNDER your control, write some point form notes about what you can do to solve the issue. Then practice putting all your attention on these items.

Put a date on your note paper and file it safely. Each month, do the same exercise. You'll undoubtedly find you feel much better almost instantly!

If you have difficulty thinking about practical things you can do to help you take control of stressors, approach the people closest to you and ask for some assistance. Together I'm sure you can brainstorm some great ideas!

As always, feel free to get in touch with me if you think I may be able to help in any way. You can reach me via rudy@happysolutions.net.

Thanks for the great question! Please keep them coming!

HKIS?

2009-10-25T13:49:00.002-04:00

HKIS? What the heck is that about?

Every Friday and Sunday I'm reminded of how the vast majority of us in North America go through "the change."

On Friday it is not uncommon to hear variations of the chant "TGIF" aka "Thank God It's Friday." The symbolism runs deep: it means the work week is over -- and now it is time to cut loose and live your life... in a word, it's time to have fun!

The "other side" of Friday, of course, is Sunday. And Sunday represents the beginning of the end of the weekend. Sunday afternoon and especially Sunday evening represent the cusp of a new work week -- they represent the beginning of the imbalance that rules the better part of North American living. Anxiety flares

Sunday is the day when the anticipatory joy of "TGIF" is replaced with the anticipatory angst of "HKIS --Holy Krap It's Sunday."

As I've said before, Sundays represent one seventh of our life...and that's a lot of life to lose if we don't learn to enjoy every bit of it. And what's even worse is the thought that the work week is so unbalanced that all that time is unappreciated or wasted as well. If we only live for Friday evenings, Saturdays, and maybe to sleep in Sunday mornings...we're missing out on life.

Life is a package deal and the only way to make the best of it is to take a step back from the stress and make some decisions and changes such that your values and goals and needs are adequately balanced. You'll find more on this by visiting www.thecoreofhappiness.info.

When life is truly balanced and happy, you'll get to lean back, smile, and genuinely say: How Kool, It's Sunday!

Have a great rest of Sunday, everyone!

FACEBOOK FAN PAGE

2009-10-23T01:02:00.001-04:00

The Facebook fan page is up and operational!

Look for it under "The Core of Happiness."

Enjoy the fun!

CHEERS!

Rhetoric

2009-10-21T05:00:00.002-04:00

Happy is as happy does.

And happy does what happy thinks.

So what thinks Happy?

Happy thinks: What good is a rhetorical question if it never gets answered?

Let's all say it together: "Hmmmmmmmmm."

The point of a rhetorical question is to THINK. Solving a problem with a solution is great if one wants to build a bridge. Thinking about a problem builds bridges between concepts, thereby forming connections never previously conceived.

And as Aristotle said: Happiness is knowledge....

But if happiness is knowledge and ignorance is bliss then is it possible to be blissfully happy? (Oh no! Another rhetorical question!)

When things go bad...

2009-10-20T17:43:00.002-04:00

Perspective is everything.

Things look very different depending on where we are standing, literally and figuratively. But one thing is constant and that is that no one can be truly happy all of the time. That's right, no one can be happy all of the time. Just as no one can be full all of the time.

Carrying along that gustatory example, truthfully we have to acknowledge that, theoretically, if we could be full all of the time that we would likely take it for granted completely!

Taking the good things in our life for granted is a major, major boo boo!

Sometimes we need to be reminded of our hunger. And while no one likes to be in a state of deprivation or starvation, a bit of hunger now and again does help us remain humble in acknowledging how thankful we are about the food we have to eat... especially given how all the world does not share in our riches here in the Western world.

Let's not go into despair on feeling the pangs of hunger... for, truthfully, the anticipation of the next warm meal goes a long way to helping us react positively as we move thru the day.

Let's appreciate all we have, including our heartaches, as a way of truly, authentically living life! Let's remain positive around the clock and focus our selves to do and be the best we can!

Just another Manic Monday!

2009-10-19T15:04:00.005-04:00

You don't have to have the sensitivity of a Weight Watcher's lunch scale to sense how crazily busy the world is these days.

Funny in a way, isn't it?

I remember an undergrad course in Anthropology, Physical Anthropology to be precise, and how it talked about Neanderthals working about 20 hours a week to do their work.

Well, since the invention of the WHEEL (!) we've moved passed the stone age, the iron age, and now are engulfed in the digital age.

Neanderthals didn't have planes, trains or automobiles... They didn't have iPhones or any phones. Nor did they have anything else of what we have today. Ahhh! But they did have one thing on their knuckle-walking side: TIME.

Let's remember something: Time is just what we can measure between the breakfast and lunch we eat... yet it is SUCH a precious resource.

People waste so much time just trying to be efficient with this or that aspect of technology. And don't get me wrong, I have nothing against technology. My concern is that we are now working DOUBLE or TRIPLE what Neanderthals worked... and as a result we have created stresses beyond recognition!!

Not everyone can sell their home and moves to the hills of Montana. What we can do is look at our lives and give some consideration to re-ordering the priorities.

Smarter than a fifth grader? I think it is time we lived smarter than a Neanderthal!

Take your time. Enjoy your day. One moment at a time.

Sundays and Sunday Evenings

2009-10-18T12:21:00.004-04:00

In my experience many, many people despise Sunday evenings. They find themselves growing to anxious, moody, even withdrawn.

Sunday evening is also a crisis point for those who battle suicidal thoughts....

The difficulty, of course, is that Sunday evening represents the cusp of a new week of work. All of a sudden "tomorrow" is a gloomy thing, immediately on the horizon.

It is as if the gastroenterologist was just getting ready to insert the sigmoidoscope....

The negative anticipation that so many of us feel on Sunday evenings is a testament to the fact that there is typically a huge contrast between our weekends and our weekdays. It is also, of course, a testament to the fact that the majority of us don't like/aren't stimulated by the work we do to pay our expenses.

The reality of living expenses means that, for most of us, we can't simply quit our jobs and find that "dream job" we have been waiting for our whole lives. So what can we do?

The first step - something we can all do - is to get a pen and some paper and write down some goals: short term, mid term and long term goals. Then, starting with the goals with the highest priority, we need to plan out exactly how we are going to achieve these goals. Step by step we take note of the plan and write it out.

Many people think it out, but, left to its own devices, this can be a fatal mistake! The plans must be written out. This way we can look back and clearly modify the steps necessary to achieving what we want to achieve based on our experiences thus far in implementing the plan....

Once we've written out our plans, we then need to assign a timeline to each of the steps. This puts a deadline on each step -- for if we didn't have deadlines very little in life would be accomplished!

Once that is done, we next need to do something extremely valuable: we need to look for balance. In the long run, all work and no play does not get the job done. (Remember back to the story of the hare and the turtle! Who won the race? The turtle did!)

In a word, we need to be flexible enough to look at the bigger picture and decide about "how much work is too much" and the like.

Don't fear making mistakes in this! Getting it right often involves going too far back and forth, like a pendulum.

The bottom line is: the process is worth the trouble!

Here's to recovering balance in your world! Here's to enjoying Sunday evenings (which, when all is said and done, represent 1/7th of all the evenings of your life!

Welcome to The Happy Blogger, Facebook!

2009-10-17T13:17:00.003-04:00

Welcome to all new readers of The Happy Blogger! Let's all sit back and enjoy the ride on the blog train to greater happiness!

My hope is that the words, phrases, stories and pictures will somehow resonate within you... and will touch you honestly in a way that only you can feel.

Choo! Choo!

Three steps to greater happiness

2009-10-16T14:57:00.003-04:00

In "The Core of Happiness" and in my talks on happiness, I divide what I understand to be the full story into three component parts.

The first is about understanding what happiness is and what it is NOT. Let's remember that life is packed with situations in which we are told what is going to make us happy. "Buy these Kinsu Knives and you will be so productive and happy in the kitchen! And, if you act now, we'll even throw in a set of Kinsu ceramic gnomes -- a great addition to any front lawn!!" Truthfully only you have the key to understanding your personal realm of contentment, peace, and happiness. Truly knowing yourself - and knowing what personal happiness means to you - is the first step.

The next step is about eliminating the un-happiness from your life. What are the things that really cause you stress? What are the things in life you really wish were different... what are the things you really wish you could change? Are these things under your control? If yes, make the change. If no, it is time to learn about healthy coping skills....

The final step is a culmination of steps one and two: maximizing genuine, personal happiness by approaching life with the type of attitude that allows you to enjoy the scenery when construction has re-routed your journey....

Feel free to learn more: visit www.thecoreofhappiness.info.

Happy reading!

Do we tend to be happy on our own?

2009-10-07T12:37:00.004-04:00

I think everyone the world over - regardless of age, race, or religion - desires to be happy. As I've blogged before, we often have some tangible in mind to help us. We tell ourselves we'll be happy when we graduate or when we get married or when we have kids...or when the kids grow up and move out...or when we get a new car.... Have you noticed? There is a tendency to substitute happiness with some other thing or event.

Truthfully, there is no better time to be happy than RIGHT NOW! Whatever is going on, however imperfect our world may be today, we need to develop the attitude and techniques to make the "present" appreciated for the gift that it truly is.

How do we do this, you ask? Great question! The first step is to acknowledge that life is a series of challenges. Someone with more of a negative slant may say that life is a series of problems. Either way, the point is that there is a tendency in one's mood to move towards anxiety and sadness: it is human nature to typically get stressed with change. Also we get stressed when we have to deal with situation after situation.

Recognition that we need to anticipate stress and a lowering of our moods as a natural part of life is itself the biggest lesson!

Think of it this way, we can't feel full all the time. Indeed, to feel satisfied we sometimes have to feel pangs of hunger. So too it is with happiness: sometimes we need to experience sadness in order to appreciate what it is to be truly happy!

Said differently, that "junk" drawer in your kitchen will likely get more messy than clean if nature is left to its own devices. We have to put energy into cleaning up that drawer in order for that drawer to be clean! So it is with happiness: we need to put the energy into our lives to keep happiness alive.

Don't make sadness the enemy. Accept what comes...but learn to control what you can to help yourself feel genuinely better!

YOU ARE KIDDING, RIGHT? Money? And Happiness?

2009-09-27T21:05:00.003-04:00

Some things just don't make a heck of a lot of sense. This photo, for instance, which hails from the southern U.S. of A. is a picture of irony.

So is Money and Happiness, though you might not have guessed that.

Suprising as it may seem, study after study has shown that once an individual's or family's income is high enough to meet the basic needs of food, clothes, shelter and the like, then income and happiness are NOT directly related at all!

The point here is clear: it is tough to be happy if you're living under a bridge and have no access to your next meal.

Having said that, the other side of the happiness coin is this: it is also true that it matters not if you drive a 1972 Pinto or a 2010 Cadillac. Okay, maybe the Pinto is a bad example, what with its habit of exploding on rear impact... but you get the gist of my point.

Indeed, someone very wisely once said: "Anyone who thinks that having a lot of money can buy you happiness OBVIOUSLY has never had a lot of money!"

Those are words to bank on!

What is happiness?

2009-09-15T15:48:00.003-04:00

Everyone in the world wants to be happy.

Well, do you know anyone who does NOT want to be happy?

As I understand it, the problem is that many of us end up creating scenarios in our minds about what it means to be happy. One of the most common is: "Just let me make a lot of money, then I'll be happy." Or maybe, "Let me pay down my mortgage," or again, "Once I get a new car..." THEN I WILL BE HAPPY.

Have you noticed we have a tendency to defer happiness until some point in the future? Seems like we are, or most of us are, really good at making excuses about why we are NOT happy. As if happiness depends on something that the future promises.

And herein lies the problem and the solution!

The problem is self-evident. The solution is that we need to remember that most of happiness comes from carrying and cultivating a healthy attitude, no matter the circumstances, no matter what seems to be missing.

The idea, then, is to appreciate -truly appreciate- what you have, NOT worry or obsess about what you don't have.

Practiced wisely, this point alone will help you experience happiness more deeply and more often!

Therefore, be careful about what you allow your mind to think about -- because the truth is, we feel what you think!

Happy trails!

Happy Gilmore

2009-09-13T22:42:00.003-04:00

In this movie, Adam Sandler plays "Happy," a lackluster, wanna-be hockey player-turned golf pro.

And while I wouldn't recommend the movie for the younger crowd because of some scenes of violence, temper tantrums, and so on - wait, this does sound a bit like hockey - Happy Gilmore does one thing that comedies are supposed to do: it makes you laugh!

And, as the adage goes, laughter is the best medicine.

Which I suppose means belly laughter is the best surgery.

I think I will coin that one, right here, right now!

Ahem, "If laughter is the best medicine, then belly laughter is the best surgery!"

Thank you. Thank you very mush!

Happy Sunday night, everyone!

Book Release in sight!

2009-09-04T07:49:00.002-04:00

After four years of work, I'm very happy to announce that The Core of Happiness is off to the printers very soon!

Controlling Emotions

2009-07-27T14:25:00.002-04:00

It happens in countries around the world each and every day. Sometimes it happens in kitchens with granite countertops and sometimes in grass huts with mud floors. The "it" I'm speaking about is the age-old adage of crying over spilled milk.

Let's think about this for a moment. The container falls and the liquid white lurches to the floor.

Suddenly it is time to choose. Not what type of rag or bucket to get -- this choice is hardly worth discussing. Instead it's time to decide how we are going to react. For if we simply allow nature to takes its course then, of course, we are going to become upset. How does this work?

As we consciously recognize the milk falling, our stress hormones kick in. Cortisol and adrenaline get dumped into our bloodstream. Soon our hearts are beating wildly. Our lungs are breathless. Our minds are racing. We are upset. Maybe even angry. "This milk is supposed to be in a cup, not splattered on the floor!" you say to yourself. Then a few choice verbal explosions - words your latin teacher never taught you - automatically pop out of your mouth.

And now the real "fun" begins. Consider yourself front and centre of the biggest, baddest roller coaster ride you did ever see!

But what good comes from all of this? The answer, simply, is NO GOOD!

So what do we do?

Well, knowing what we know now, we prepare ourselves for the next time... and when next time happens and the milk falls, we start to laugh! That's right, LAUGH! Laughing induces good hormones and keeps us feeling good. In the meanwhile we can quickly clean up the spill and move on with our day, unaffected. Because the thing about hormones is this: though they only take a little while to get stimulated, they often linger in our body and show their effects for a while. SO... let's keep the happy hormones pumping! Let's keep laughing! Let's keep the endorphins flowing!

NOW HERE'S THE BIG SECRET...

You know the story I just mentioned about spilled milk?

...

Well... the truth is... everything in life that goes badly or unexpectedly IS just another form of spilled milk. Deal with all these circumstances the same way.

Namely... control your hormones and emotions by laughing at yourself and the situation. While doing so, clean up the mess -- do what you have to do! Do what you can do! Learn to not worry about the rest... after all, there is nothing you can do about the things for which there is nothing you can do, so why worry?

Easier said than done, you say? Perhaps, but that doesn't mean it isn't the right thing to do!

Try it out...be patient and keep trying... then let me know how it works!

Best wishes and don't give up!

Happiness is a CHOICE

2009-07-27T13:57:00.002-04:00

It almost sounds ridiculous to hear that "Happiness is a choice." Why? Well, quite simply, because we have all felt the pains of unhappiness and know full well that there are times when it is hard to smile let alone laugh.

Let's be clear about something: whether you are Donald Trump, the Pope, or the guy downtown looking for a handout, life has it's ups and downs.

Being happy is a bit like being satisfied with your nutritional intake: being full only lasts so long and then one feels hungry again. And while the analogy is not perfect, I would suggest that in nature the natural tendency is to be sad as it is to be hungry. In a word -- we have to work to stay full and we have to work to stay happy.

So what is the "work" of being and staying happy, you rightfully ask. If there was a simple, straightforward, universal answer I would share it with you. So while there are many infomercials telling you something different, the truth is that there is a significant amount of individual difference with respect to what makes us as individuals happy. (For a more full review, please visit www.thecoreofhappiness.info and download a free copy of my chapter, "Defining Happiness for Myself."

But the other aspect to keep in mind here is this: if something bad happens... if there is a flat tire, if we get laid off from work, if someone close to us dies... then we have a good reason to be unhappy. Grieving (of whatever type) is an important part of life. (Though contrary to what Charlie Brown said, I really doubt there is anything one would want to classify as "good grief.")

Truthfully, grieving sucks. Just like being hungry sucks.

On the other hand, how much would you enjoy your dinner if you spent the entire day nibbling on various foods? A continuously full stomach creates no enjoyment for the next meal.

The bottom line? Some difficulties, some upsets, some pains in life are unavoidable. The idea is not to spend endless time focusing on what has gone against our master plan. The concept I'm suggesting you buy into is that you allow yourself to grieve your loss and then compel yourself to move on with an openness to smiles and giggles and laughter. I'd even suggest you begin by humming a great song. It is really tough to be sad AND to hum at the same time. Try it and let me know your experiences!

Happy trails....

OBAMA!

2008-11-05T00:58:00.002-05:00

Bo Bama, fee fy fo fama, me my mo mama! Hey hey!

The ObamaBiden ticket...

Apparently it has a ring to it!

And I'm a poet, and didn't even know it.

Here's hoping the world is a better, happier place with this news!

Yesterday (read George 'W') is history...

Tomorrow's a mystery...

Today is the present...a gift from God.

अ न्यू वर्ल्ड

2008-11-05T00:35:00.001-05:00

फ ला ला ला ला , ला ला ला ला।

तिस थे सीज़न तो बे जोल्ली, फ ला ला ला ला, ला ला ला ला.

Can I make you laugh?

2008-11-04T12:22:00.004-05:00

At 6'6", 220 pounds, I'd make a really ugly woman and a pretty horrible kilt-wearing Scottsman, too.

Despite that reality, I seem to have a bit of a Scottish flare to me after all: go up to the YouTube box above and type in "W Network Expert" to see what I mean.

I hope you enjoy it.

Sincerely,

The Happy SCOTTISH Blogger

What makes you happy?

2008-11-01T11:55:00.000-04:00

In my book, The Core of Happiness, I've suggested that there are really two kinds of happiness.

One is content-based happiness. This is the stuff that society is obsessed with. This is literally the "stuff" in our lives or the "stuff" we hope to have in our lives. In our commercial world, we are inundated with news of all the new things that the marketers and merchants have to sell us. And, of course, the idea is that these things are going to make our life better...more happy, right?

The other type of happiness is process-based happiness. This comes with living life happily. We know we have achieved this ultimate level of happiness we we can actually sit back and enjoy the scenery on a detoured roadway. Much more on this in future blogs.

Despite the great emphasis on content-based happiness, I think that process-based happiness is actually responsible for 90% or more of people's enduring happiness.

Ever watch a three-year old child open a birthday or Christmas gift? They typically spend thirty seconds looking at the toy, then spend the next long while playing with the destroyed wrapping paper and the gift box. We adults are not too much different: we get bored easily. And, as a result, many get into the habit of chasing hedonic feelings by becoming serial shopaholics.

But being a shopaholic doesn't improve one's lot in life and it doesn't improve one's happiness. Study after study has shown this. And if that's not enough, plus it's rather expensive.

All this begs a question. What things did you seek that you thought were going to make you happy, but they ultimately did not? I'd love for you to share your stories.

GO AHEAD, LAUGH!

2008-09-09T00:21:00.002-04:00

Did you know children laugh about 5000 times per DAY?

Guess how many times you laughed so far today? Probably much, much less than that!

THE CURE? In the YouTube search above, type in: Elevator Psychology.

Then go ahead, laugh!

Fresh

2008-09-06T16:43:00.004-04:00

"I love the smell of freshly sharpened pencils in the Fall," Tom Hanks said to Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail. (If you haven't seen the movie, watch it–you'll enjoy it!) Fall is also a wonderful time to visit New York City, too. But it's not Fall yet is it! Just because the calendar shows September, we can't abandon Summer yet!

Well, the last vestiges of summer remain, but let's not let a moment pass without enjoying it! Soon will come the effects of cooler temperatures: autumn-shades of burnt orange, magnificent reds...

Three months to Christmas?!

Four months to 2009?!

Yikes, time flies! Or tempus fugit, as the Romans said.

"Tempus grabbit" isn't a real latin phrase, but the sentiment is nonetheless valid: Seize the moment, one moment at a time, and practice the habit of appreciation every moment you can....

Thoughts on Thoughts

2008-08-22T17:26:00.000-04:00

Some people are shocked when I ask them this question: "Do you control your mind, or does your mind control you?"

Sure, one can argue that, truthfully, there are many times when thoughts just "pop" into our conscious minds for who-knows-what reason. Welcome to being human!

And some of these thoughts can be upsetting, disturbing, or otherwise challenging to our personal code of ethics. But there is great news!

The great news is that we have the power to change our thoughts! Easier said than done, particularly when a certain life event has our life turned upside down. Losing a job, a death in the family, a new diagnosis, a fire, discovery that a spouse has been cheating...all these things create huge waves of emotion. Try as we might, negative thoughts in these situations continue to pop into our thoughts, time after time. And nothing seems to help.

"Time heals all," or so the saying goes.

But of course time heals nothing! It's what we do with time that is the healing! My point: let's reduce the amount of time of suffering by focusing on what we need to. This is not to suggest that grieving is not appropriate; indeed, one can't truly appreciate the heights of happiness without having sampled the depths of difficulties and sorrow. So we all need a certain amount of time to process major life events; more often than not, talking things out is very, very helpful. Another very helpful adjunct is to write out our thoughts and feelings.

Talking and writing, on one level, accomplish the same thing. And it is not just the idea about venting. Talking and writing also share the important characteristic of necessarily having the speaker/writer systematically organize his or her thoughts. Such organization leads to greater ability to be logical.

And logical is good. Logical is what gets us from point A to point B.

For the record, Emotional is good too. Even better, in fact. Because what we feel we feel on an emotional level. But emotions tend to make poor arbiters of choice. More on this soon.

Misty water coloured memories...

2008-08-03T20:05:00.003-04:00

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to see when you've got Niagara Falls in your eyes?

I remember as a kid being on Maid of the Mist. Ok, all I really remember is getting sloppy wet and having a blast doing it. Thinking back, it really was the ultimate form of jumping in a puddle! Then there's the shared experience that comes only with certain situations. Ever imagine what the first fella of capitalism was thinkin? "Let's get a butt-ugly tug boat, cram it full of thrill-seeking tourists, and drive the sucker up to the bottom of the Niagara Falls!"

Then there's the whole Clifton Hill experience, what with the wax museums and scary monster chiller horror houses of horror!

Let's not even talk about roller coasters!

Seems like we humans are perfectly willing to part with our hard-earned dollars to introduce specific emotions-- like stain-your-underpants horror! --often exactly the kinds of emotions we spend the better part of our days otherwise avoiding! Sheesh! What are we thinking!

It all just gets me thinking: Epictetus really was right! It isn't so much what has happened to us, rather more how we interpret what's happened to us. So as we're approaching the bottom of the falls, as we're racing on a roller coaster... we're really very aware that this is a time-limited exposure to something we otherwise wouldn't want to be experiencing, say, in our cars...

Learning that we have the power to control our emotions is the serious message in all this. Part of the "trick", if you will, is to be able to tell ourselves that, in fact, these emotions - no matter how bad they feel right now - they too will come to an end at some point... just like the roller coaster.

How wonderful to be able to control our emotions in this kind of way. More on this in the future.

For now, just a final thought. There are only two good reasons to look back in life: one is to relish the memories (... to smile, to laugh, to induce that warm and fuzzy feeling that comes with cherished pictures, for instance) and the second is to learn from the past. That's it. Every other reason isn't likely a good one.

Happy memories to you all!

The weather

2008-07-26T15:58:00.003-04:00

In life there are things we can and things we cannot control.

One of the things we can't control is the weather. Yet have you ever spent time worrying about the weather? Most people have worried to some degree. And usually it's in the context of some or another event: a wedding, a barbeque, or perhaps a sports event.

But what good comes from this type of worry? Nada. Zilch. Zero. Nothing good comes from it.

So is there anything we can learn from this? Always consider the things you can control and do your best to focus on making these circumstances as good as can be.

As a bride, plan on taking pictures at the park but be prepared to settle into the studio if lady luck showers you with rain. In the meantime, don't turn into Bridezilla about the weather...

Heaven welcomes Randy!

2008-07-25T23:06:00.005-04:00

Today the world lost an amazing thinker, researcher, and teacher. More than that, three little, wonderful little kids lost there Dad, and those wonderful kids' Mom lost her husband...

For those of you whose lives have not been touched by the public struggle of Randy Pausch and his valiant battle with cancer... please do yourself a favor: go to www.randypausch.com and watch the entire "Last Lecture," Randy's story about Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams. This hour will undoubtedly change your life!

Randy's spirit and legacy will live on in his book, The Last Lecture, and in the inspiration of all those who, like me, have come to feel connected with his incredible attitude.

"You can't change the cards you're dealt... only the way you play your hand."

Here's to a man who happily played his cards to the fullest... and here's to the hope that all of us needn't wait to be diagnosed with a fatal illness to learn that we, too, can make the most of life ... one moment at a time...

If only...

2008-07-18T17:56:00.002-04:00

Did you ever notice that some folks run their lives on the "if only" or "what if" basis? If only I could win the lottery... then I'd be happy. If only I could get marry and have kids, then I'd be happy. Or later, what if the kids moved out and I got divorced, then I'd be happy.

Truthfully, we have to decide that there is no better time to be happy than NOW!

So adapt the attitude of happiness. Be grateful for what you have NOW. Avoid excessively thinking about what you don't have or what you want.

You'll be much happier as you adapt to this way of thinking!

Not convinced? Try it for a while and let me know....

I think I can...

2008-07-15T22:12:00.004-04:00

Ah, the power of possibility!

To "think I can" is to view one's place in life as a forward moving, progressively thinking phenomenon.

The moment we allow our minds to focus on the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty... this is the moment the fat lady sings -- because at that instant it's game over.

A road trip is a good analogy, it seems to me. To get anywhere, one must get out the map and find the YOU ARE HERE spot. Then there's the step of determining where you want to go... because if you have nowhere you want to go, that's exactly where you are going to end up: NOWHERE!

Happy Thursday

2008-07-10T23:38:00.002-04:00

If the week had the equivalent of the well-described "middle child syndrome", Thursday would undoubtedly get the title.

How sad, really. Because if you think about it, Thursdays represent one seventh (or virtually 15%) of our lives! Thursdays are not a day "just to survive." Thursdays are like any other day when we have learned to live in the moment: Thursday is the PRESENT, the gift, that cherished piece of time never to be had again.

So always practice living in the moment, whether it it's Thursday morning or Sunday evening. Enjoy the moment for whatever positive thing it brings. Not possible? Sure it is! You just have to remember that you have this choice: I can focus on the blatant negatives in my world or I can find the positive aspects in my world. This is a choice we all have at all times. And clearly sometimes the choice is easier-- when we are enjoying the game, the party, or the praise of a situation. It's much more of a challenge when it comes to the everyday ho-hum of traffic jams, incessant phone calls, irritating demands, and so on. But, for the sake of your happiness, take responsibility for your choice in the knowledge that focusing on negativity will unquestionably lead to negative feelings.

And take it from Happy, The Blogger: once you choose to find and focus on the good things about cloudy days, good things about rain, etc., etc., you will be able to choose to find happiness in every moment and literally feel the glow of the sunshine within.

Does this sound too good to be true? Does this sound like the effects of some illicit substance? Hardly! I invite you to stay tuned and to keep reading...

Oh, and Happy Thursday, everyone!

Happy Birthday, Baby Angels!

2008-07-09T20:07:00.002-04:00

On July 9th, 2001...

Richard Ceolin Wietfeldt

Mary Therese Rose Ceolin Wietfeldt

Lucas Ceolin Wietfeldt

Josef Ceolin Wietfeldt...

You gently tiptoed into the world

and though you only stayed for a short while

what an imprint

you have forever left on our hearts.

We love you, Baby Angels!

Appreciation

2008-07-08T21:08:00.003-04:00

Happy Sunday!

2008-07-06T21:41:00.002-04:00

Balance. We hear about it all the time. People refer to it universally as an understood truth, that ideal that intersects garden salad and strawberry cheesecake.

The sad part is that most of us don't have it and don't even have plans to learn how to get it!

Modern day life is a treadmill of sorts: Work, Eat, Sleep... Work, Eat, Sleep... Perhaps this is why we call it the rat race. ('Hamster race' just doesn't carry the joy of the alliteration of the two r's!)

Ironic in a way, isn't it? Neanderthal Man worked about 24 hours a week. And wasn't the whole point of mechanization and technology to make life easier?

Yikes!

Don't get me wrong: I'm not suggesting we all move to the hills and live a cottage-industry existence... But I am suggesting we pause a moment every once in a while - Sunday being perhaps a very good day to do so - and consider what really matters in this life.

Do we have to survive a bout with cancer to learn that life - our life! - is precious?

Yes, there are bills to pay and therefore work to be done. Let's all choose our expenses wisely so we don't have to work so hard. Let's all choose to use our time wisely -- according to our own value system, not to what advertising is dictating...

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Happy Birthday, Pier Giorgio!

2008-07-05T23:22:00.003-04:00

In life we are blessed, truly blessed, with only a handful of people we can wholeheartedly call our dear friends.

My family and I are indeed truly blessed to know and love Pier Giorgio DiCicco, poet laureate of Toronto.

A warm inviting smile, eyes that twinkle as if Irish, a hilarious sense of humor, a speaking and singing voice to die for, an intellect that should have been housed by a university, not simply an individual...

For all you do everyday... for all the lives you lovingly touch... for all the times you have been unapologetically politically incorrect... THANK YOU! And may God bless you on this, your birthday, and on all days!

For my dear friend: Happy Birthday!

Happy Independence Day!

2008-07-04T22:38:00.002-04:00

Happy Fourth of July!!!

This is the magical day when, each year, literally hundreds of millions of people band together... to show how independent they are of each other?

History may not be my strongest suit, but check out the wonderful Fourth of July Friday Funnies!

The PRESENT

2008-07-03T22:51:00.004-04:00

A day to celebrate!

Why, you ask?

Because, as someone very wise once said, "Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is the PRESENT, a gift from God."

If you think about a present for a moment, these are generally gifts on special occasions. Perhaps a birthday, or other important anniversary. Presents tend to come with colorful paper - perhaps even a bow or a ribbon. And we, unless only three years of age, tend to treat such a present with tenderness and respect... for no matter how much the expense, this is something to be treasured because, as the saying goes, "it's the thought that counts."

Ladies and Gentlemen, children of alllll ages... today is truly the PRESENT. And here's a little "secret" for you: Life is lived... in the present.

So practice shutting out the skeletons of yesterday. And don't give a voice to the anxieties of tomorrow. Yesterday and Tomorrow do not exist. No matter who you are, no matter how rich or powerful a person you may be, yesterday cannot be brought to life and tomorrow cannot be experienced now. Today is the only day you can live right now. Please don't allow today - this PRESENT- to become tainted or poisoned by the toxicity of what does not exist.

May you live today and each day in this spirit of appreciation, knowing that this day, Thursday July 3rd, 2008, will never be lived again. And so it is with everyday...

A day to celebrate!

Summer Fun

2008-07-02T23:00:00.004-04:00

The resident joke of Torontonians is that we really only have two seasons a year. The first and longest is winter. Winter lasts anywhere from 8 to 17 months. Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. Winter weather may last from Novemberish to Aprilish.

Which means the only other season runs from May to October... and that season is called CONSTRUCTION.

And with construction comes traffic. Lots of traffic. And since road repairs are only necessary because winter is so long in the first place... sheesh! It's pretty easy to understand why people get upset with all the traffic.

Here's the thing. We can focus on our upset and just get plain angry. Or we can look at the evolving situation and decide not to get upset...

Which makes more sense?

(Did I hear someone say something about Florida???)

Happy Birthday, Canada!

2008-07-01T09:32:00.008-04:00

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Canada, happy birthday to you!

Time to celebrate each and every little thing Canadian!

Which begs the question: What are we celebrating? Is there a bigger celebration?

Is this day about beavers and RCMP? Large double, doubles and poutine? Is it about the discovery of insulin or the innovation of the iced cappuccino?

D'oh! Yes, even Bart Simpson is Canadian. (Don't believe me? Check Wikipedia!)

See, as I look at myself, I'm half Canadian, half American, half German, and half Hungarian. I've also got a bit of Dutch in me. (Hence the wood shoes.) I've eaten so much pasta and veal, I've got to have Italian citizenship by now. In the end, I guess you could just say I am FULL OF MYSELF... When it comes to the Olympics, whom do I cheer for?

Usually the underdog, actually.

Take a step back, though. Truth is, it is nice to belong to a group. It feels right. It's cozy. There is a feeling of strength in numbers. It leads to a superficially improved self esteem by way of association. That's what nationalism, first and foremost, is to my understanding. And perhaps one can reasonably argue that waving your country's flag at the Olympics is not a bad thing. The problem is that all this nationalism - this attempt to belong - is really very superficial when you think about it. Especially today and for the last century or perhaps few centuries.

When Jesus was a kid He didn't travel very far from home. Donkeys weren't unionized, but at the same time they sure didn't work like vehicles of today. Until modern travel, people typically married within their city-state or village. Individuals became parts of couples, couples were parts of families, families were parts of communities, and so on... Geography meant something generation after generation. Greed being what it was (and is), foreigners- that is, people different from "us"- were to be feared. But then there were some world travellers who ventured by water... Until finally the real explosion happened. Horse and carriage and wind and sail were replaced by motorized transportation. Soon the dream of air travel became a reality. All of a sudden Sally didn't have to marry her cousin Harry, because there were lots of hairy people out there! The gene pool of each geographic region on the planet suddenly changed, never to be the same again.

Canada, indeed much of the so-called "developed" world, is really a melting pot of so many backgrounds.

And doesn't this really highlight a central point: we are all part of the global village! Black or white, yellow or albino, Canadian or Klingon... we are all just part of the global village. As such, the thin line on the maps of the world, to me at least, signify very little.

Perhaps surprisingly, what they tend to signify is something ugly. Because it seems to me what these boundaries are really saying is: "We are us, and you people (outside our boundaries) are not. So bug off!" That's admittedly a bit gruff. But if you look at the state of the world, is it inaccurate?

It really is about perspective... and, as many an astronaut has commented, looking down on the world from space one can see a lot of details, like Niagara Falls, for instance, but one cannot see any lines dividing the various places that are home to all.

At the risk of being considered a rain cloud on your parade, let me say again Happy Birthday, Canada! And here's to the ongoing building of tolerance of all people. Here's to breaking down the fears of xenophobics everywhere!

CHEERS!

(Wow, already 141 years old. Geez, that Botox must really be working. You don't look a day over 50, Canada! Botox use for anti-aging: also Canadian!)

Goodnight, June

2008-06-30T00:13:00.000-04:00

Geez, Louise! Half the year gone already! Seems like yesterday we packed away our Christmas decorations. Yet here we are... on the verge of July. And it got me thinkin' about June.

June Cleaver, that is.

Always perfect, wasn't she? Perfect hair. Perfect makeup. Perfect clothes- even a perfect apron.

I have a theory: maybe June was a cut out doll?

What do you think?

Happy Sunday!

2008-06-29T23:21:00.005-04:00

Are you one of those people?

Do you develop rapid heart beats, dry mouth, and anxiety as the sun sets on Sundays? If so, you must be suffering from a 20th Century medical condition doctors call Chronic Allergic Monday Phobia (CAMP).

CAMPers have a great deal of difficulty transitioning from the idea of having their own time to having their time structured by busy-ness.

HAPPY CAMPers are those who have recognized that life needs to be balanced; they look to work hard and play hard-- and look to spread some joy throughout each day of the week. Hogging joy for the weekend makes for unHAPPY CAMPers.

So... let's all work to remember this, CAMPers: Sunday night is one seventh of your evenings in life! Don't take them for granted. Enjoy each and every one!

For love or money? For love OF money!

2008-06-28T15:15:00.006-04:00

The following QUESTION and ANSWER washed ashore from the Internet-- Craig's list, New York, no less. While there are aspects of both question and answer that are ha-ha funny, I think the more serious concern I have is about the underlying message. And, curiously, I think it points to what haunts the greater part of the developed world: we want to be happy, yes, but we have assumptions about what makes us happy (exaggerated financial resources, youth, beauty... the list goes on and on...) and we have never been able to see how illogical and poorly constructed these assumptions truly are.

My upcoming book, "The Core of Happiness: Your step-by-step, fun-to-read guide to greater happiness. Guaranteed!", due out in the fall of 2008, points out that achieving anything -including happiness- necessitates a clear understanding of what is desired. Specifically, the stage of defining one's personal happiness must include a thorough review of the myths - some subtle, some not-so-subtle - which are so pervasive in our society.

Keep this thought in mind, particularly as you read the following "question."

THE QUESTION: What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests

PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

Your Friday Funny! (Video available at the top of the blog.)

2008-06-27T20:38:00.005-04:00

A favorite to many, Tim Conway is a master funny man. Take a quick peek at these scenes and enjoy the giggles that follow! Here are some summaries for the video links for this edition of YOUR FRIDAY FUNNY! (Please note-- YouTube rotates the four videos, so the summaries below may not always apply... Also, if you move your cursor to the bottom of the pop up screen, you can access other Tim Conway videos-- ENJOY!) As a last resort, just go to the youtube.com and search for Tim Conway and Carol Burnett.

THE ELEPHANT SCENE-- A CLASSIC!

Some of the funniest moments of TV occur when Tim Conway cracks up the other stars on the long-running Carol Burnett Show. Check out the reactions of his fellow actors as Tim describes the siamese elephants he had seen at a freak show!

THE BUMBLING DENTIST

Magically gifted as a physical comedian, Tim Conway struts his stuff in this hilarious snippet. Poor Harvey Korman has a tooth ache and needs some relief! Enjoy this scene of the bumbling dentist as he attempts to provide some aid... and... oh yeah, don't forget to smile!

"MR. DEMENTOID"

More physical comedy-- this time Tim uses a mechanical wheelchair to get his point across.

HOW DO YOU SPELL 'RELIEF'?

I spell it "E", "N", "D", because this isn't a very funny scene in my estimation. Go back and watch the siamese elephant scene! Or move your cursor to the bottom of the pop up screen and watch Tim Conway as a wartime interrogator- it's hilarious!

Youth is wasted on the young?

2008-06-26T01:12:00.004-04:00

George Bernard Shaw said those immortal words: youth is wasted on the young. To my way of thinking, however, we rarely (if ever) have things in life exactly as we would have them.

And the truth is a good number of us typically defer our own happiness by statements like: "When I finish school, then I'll be happy." "When I get a new car..." "When my mortgage is paid off..." or "When I retire, then I'll be happy."

But it seems to me there is no better time to be happy than right now.

Oh, and now...

And now too!

So dare yourself to be different! Tell yourself that nothing is ever really perfect, and that that's okay. There is always a way to look at life in such a way as to leave yourself with a smile. Some call that a type of mental illusion or delusion. Personally, since my perception of reality is the perception of reality that I experience, I am going to choose to favor that aspect of reality that leaves some laughter on my uvula and a smile on my lips.

I choose to be happy by always focusing on the positives I have in my life, not on what I don't have... and certainly not on what others have (or appear to have) in their lives.

Know someone who might want to be happier? Ask them to consider all the good things in their life right now. And then invite them to consider making these things the focus of their life for just the next week.

The results, I'm happy to say, are predictable and reproducible!

Have a happy Thursday!

For everything there is a season and a time

2008-06-25T11:00:00.007-04:00

My father was a true Renaissance Man. He could change a gas line, fix a furnace, re-wire electrical systems, build a building... all with his own hands. He also was a university philosophy professor, an economist, a researcher, a public policy advisor and analyst; he was a think tank guru, author, speaker and general go-to guy. My Dad was regularly meeting with government ministers, Premiers, and Prime Ministers. He was one of a few lay people to address parliament.

Impressive by any standard. Yet if you were to speak with anyone whose path crossed his, above all the praise for his abilities and accomplishments, the one resounding thing you would hear is what a generous, warm individual this man was. It mattered not if you were a CEO or the lady who empties the trash, you always received his genuine, infectious smile and an encouraging word.

Throughout my childhood I adored my Dad. Not really for any of the above reasons, though. I cherished his sense of humour, his ability to make me smile when I needed to smile most... I loved being with him: it mattered not if we were at the park, playing catch in the backyard, or skipping through the parliament buildings to one of his meetings. (See, I often accompanied my Dad on his activities. From a very young age, I remember him leaving me briefly with the Sisters at the check out desk at St. Michael's library while he scurried off to quickly get some books from the dusty stacks. And, yes, I have fond memories of my Dad, all 6'3" of him, wearing a grey suit and carrying his briefcase, skipping with me, his youngest boy, through the halls of Parliament.)

Not that I didn't enjoy his mind! During my adolescence, some of my fondest memories are of me sitting with Dad at the kitchen table, just talking, for hours at a time... this is something we did every evening. He was a walking encyclopedia and a joy to be around because he loved teaching and loved learning. The one thing, though, was that Dad insisted all us boys do our own work. He would always be available to help, but there were no free rides in the homework department at our house!

When I was in first year at the University of Toronto I was registered in Arts and Science with my sights on Physiology. My breadth requirement was partially going to be filled with Eng 101-- a creative writing course. I remember the intensity of being in first year, something so very different from grade 13. As "luck" would have it, I developed a pretty bad bronchitis and was wiped out for more than a week. For the first time in my life my Dad took total mercy on me and completed my writing assignment, which is to say he did the whole thing-- from start to finish. He even submitted the paper on my behalf. Believe it or not, I had not even read the thing!

Two weeks later, after I was back at school, I arrived home at dinner time to be greeted at the door by my eldest brother, Peter. He reached for my shoulders and said, "Dad's dead."

My father had died in his home office of a massive heart attack while working on a paper he was to deliver at Memorial University. He was 47.

A few weeks after the funeral I received back my first assignment from my creative writing course. The man who had written a Ph.D. dissertation, hundreds of briefs, speeches, articles- even books- had gotten an A. "I've never given an A to a student in first year on the first assignment!" the professor noted. After my eye had digested the large red A on the cover, my eyes flashed up to the title and I began to slowly read: For everything there is a season and a time...

Today, June 25th, Dad is celebrating in Heaven what would have been his 69th birthday. Today, though I miss Dad dearly, I celebrate knowing I had a very special man as my father... and tonight I will be enjoying a slice of one of his fave's, black forest cake!

Happy Birthday, Dad! I love you.

Happy Anniversary!

2008-06-24T06:44:00.004-04:00

What better day than today to begin a happiness blog? It is, after all, my Wedding Anniversary!

And I can recall seeing at a country market years ago, during our betrothed period, a wall hanging which said: "90% of your happiness in life comes from choosing the right person to marry!"

Two decades later, I couldn't agree more... and for many reasons on many levels. Perhaps most basically, though, because the love of a married couple - the love of soul mates - gives hope to the idea that we can all reach beyond ourselves in this huge, impersonal world.

That "connection"- that love- is a bond that can serve as a template for other relationships (although none quite as perfect as the original.) Which is not to suggest that marriage is always easy: like a tender young plant, a marriage needs consistent nurturing.

And please remember: the gardener with the green thumb - you know, the one who talks to his plants - does well not because the plants are listening but rather because while he's talking... he's also watering, fertilizing, weeding, etc., all of which makes for one happy growing plant.

So...here's to sharing and caring... to living life tall... to risking it all... to loving!

A Happy June 24th to all! And to my beloved, Happy Anniversary, Darling!